Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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