Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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