i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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