But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize