I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it because I queefed?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
