a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
