champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
