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the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I currently don't understand fingers.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
