he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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