is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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