just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize