Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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