Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
