That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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