Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
