another moral hangover. fuck.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
