I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
