So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Michael Bay diarrhea
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
