Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
