come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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