dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
