i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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