I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
