ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
