You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
