i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
