Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
