I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
