i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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