If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
