Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
