Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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