It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
