True but thats because hes a fetus.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
