Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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