the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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