so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
