he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
