My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
