Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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