Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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