doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
