Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
