i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
