he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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