i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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