she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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