It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I wish there were birth control emojis
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize