Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
only you would photoshop your dick
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
there is glitter all over my balls
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
