Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
