Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
