I think my vagina is haunted
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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