he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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