the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
50% drunk capacity currently
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
