wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
