i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
