I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
