I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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