bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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