He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
